My Fake Is Good But Your Fake Is Bad
By Dr. Sherrie Campbell
In todayâ€™s society the majority of women invest in enhancing their appearance cosmetically, and why not? We all deserve to feel beautiful. There is nothing wrong with tastefully taking care of and enhancing ourselves in ways which make us feel better. Unfortunately, many women are competitive and tend to hate other beautiful women, especially women who are not just beautiful but also smart, successful, and talented. Insecure women have a hard time with women who possess it allâ€”inner and outer beauty, so they cut these women down focusing on their â€œfakeâ€ as a way to make themselves feel bigger, better and more real than the women they are critical of.
Letâ€™s get real about â€œfake.â€
1. Height: If you choose to wear six inch heels to look taller, leaner and more beautiful, more power to you. If you are short it can be a burden in life to feel you measure up. There is nothing wrong with wanting some added height and being able to utilize shoes to get it. Celebrate those six inch heels. For many women feeling taller makes them feel leaner and to feel they have more authority.
2. Eyes: If you havenâ€™t been blessed with long luscious lashes and you love the way your eyes look with false lashes then wear them and enjoy the way your eyes pop when you have them on. If you donâ€™t want fake lashes then use serums to help them grow longer.
If you feel your eyes are dull in color find contacts or colors of make-up which help bring your eyes out. Make-up can do wonders for your eyes to making you feel more beautiful.
3. Hair extensions: Many of us havenâ€™t been blessed with thick long flowing ever-growing hair, let alone when your hormones change in your 40â€™s and all your hair starts falling out or it suddenly becomes frizzy and unmanageable. Or, God forbid you have had cancer and your hair doesnâ€™t return in the same consistency you had previously had.
The gorgeous Christi Brinkley has said that nothing makes a woman look better than a little added hair. If you want to have the hair you have always dreamed of, invest in extensions.
4. Breast Implants: Fake breasts are a â€œgivenâ€ any more in our society. Look, they are great! They make your waist look smaller and body more feminine. If you have always been insecure with small breasts or breasts that are naturally uneven then take the option to fix them. If you are willing to wear bras cosmetically enhance your breasts then getting implants becomes your permanent bra.
Implants are especially wonderful after you have nursed children and you donâ€™t recognize your breasts anymore because they are dragging on the ground behind you. You have the right to lift up, rug-burns and all, and make your breasts perky again.
5. Tummy tuck: Having children just about destroys the beautiful tummy you once had, so if you feel you cannot look at your stomach without feeling nauseas then do what you need to do to return to the flatness you once had that sit ups will no longer get you.
Or, in the case of a gastric bypass and the extra skin from the weight loss is something you cannot live with, then get rid of it. Who knows maybe you can even donate skin somehow for a better cause, perhaps for burned victims.
6. Exercise and diet supplements: If you take diet pills and other supplements to help you stay lean and it works for you then continue. It is your body and you have the right to do what will keep you looking great and in top form. Of course be wise in what supplements you take by making sure none of them damage your body, but take advantage of what is available and increase your self-esteem.
7. Plastic surgery: God made doctors and if you feel you need some enhancements that could radically change your self-image and self-esteem and you can afford it, then do it. It is amazing what something like a nose-job can do to radically transform a personsâ€™ self-image. Why carry around a piece of self-loathing if it can be taken care of.
8. Botox: Looking young as you age becomes important, as we all know women do not age as well as men. Botox and other fillers are great ways to look natural and fresh keeping your face looking smooth, youthful and vibrant. Botox is a great way to put off a facelift, so it is a smart investment as you age. If you want to add some pout to your mouth then add a little filler to be more kissable.
9. Hair removal: Truly, too much hair is just not attractive especially on women, unless you are going for the look of a Wookie. If you have that dreaded mustache or beard, due to hair growth, then invest in getting rid of it. Threading, waxing and laser are great ways to avoid the desperation of taking a razor to your face.
10. Tanning: A little color does a body good. A porcelain white skin tone is not one all of us can pull off and look as fabulous as Nicole Kidman or Gwen Stefani. If getting a tan makes you feel leaner, sexier, more alive and you look better in less clothing then take advantage of the sun, tanning beds, or tanning creams to keep your skin looking fresh and golden.
11. Hair color: To look fresh add some color to your hair. Some of us were born brunette but inside we are blonde. Some of us have gone grey and want our youthful color back, or maybe youâ€™re blonde but prefer red, brown or jet black. You may just be creative and love to run the gamut of color. Hair color is a fabulous way to express your personality and your tastes. Each color you try brings out something different about your personality and the more creative you are the more daring you can get.
12. Teeth/Mouth: Many people who love with teeth will get veneers or invest money and time into braces and whitening. There is nothing more beautiful than a stunning smile. If you want to improve the appearance of your teeth take advantage of the technologies out there to do that and shine on.
Here is what is crazy-making: Women who wear fake lashes that call women with hair extensions â€œfake.â€ What is the real difference ladies â€œthe length of the hair?â€ Donâ€™t be a hater of what other women do to enhance themselves if you are doing any of the above to enhance yourself. You cannot justify your fake as being real and other peopleâ€™s fake as making them inauthentic. All it shows when you talk poorly of other women based on their appearance alone is a direct reflection of your own insecurity.
All enhancements women invest in are about personal choice and the expression of their personal freedom. When you are secure in yourself you prefer to focus on the kindness of other women beyond their beauty and if they donâ€™t have that then it is appropriate to make decisions about them.
When you love and support other women you show confidence in yourself. When you cut other women down, you look ugly and there are no external enhancements to help you with that.
Sherrie Campbell, PhD is a veteran, licensed Psychologist with two decades of clinical training and experience providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California. In her private practice, she currently specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers, including marriage and family therapy, grief counselling, childhood trauma, sexual issues, personality disorders, illness and more. She has helped individuals manage their highest high and survive their lowest lowâ€”from winning the lottery to the death of a child. Her interactive sessions are as unique and impactful as her new book, Loving Yourself : The Mastery of Being Your Own Person.
She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2003 and has regularly contributes to numerous publications, including Intent.com, Beliefnet.com, DrLaura.com and Hitched.com. She is also an inspirational speaker, avid writer and proud mother. She can be reached at Sherriecampbellphd.com.